What a Deal!

I've been away for awhile. You probably don't remember who I am anymore. 

Whew! Life changed a lot since I first started blogging. I got busy. My mom got sick. Milestone birthdays crept up on me and now I feel a little bit like a full time party planner who only spends and doesn't get paid. But it's going to be an awesome 40th birthday for my husband on October 1st.  

I didn't get too busy to write, necessarily. And I wasn't away for bad reasons. Being busy can be a good thing. My mom's cancer treatments have been working, nothing but good news there. 

I even got a request for my full manuscript back in April. I was rejected 3 months later but nothing harsh was written and yet it wasn't a form rejection. There is still hope and hey, I was asked for my full. That's great. 

After I went to the LA SCBWI conference I had to take time off to put my writing life into perspective. It occurred to me that half of being a writer is having to get out and go to workshops and meetings and conferences and not just sit in a little dark room pounding out better drafts. 

That's when I decided I should sign up for the Andrea Brown workshop in Big Sur this December. That will give me a chance to really sit and work on my manuscript with industry professionals. 

I panicked shortly I signed up. I wondered if my writing was ready to go to that level of work-shopping. Maybe, I should skip it and save the money and focus on local writing groups and regional SCBWI meetings. 

My husband had to rationalize with me. He made a good point. He said that since I met with Kelly Sonnack from Andrea Brown during my consultation at LA SCBWI and she's the one that gave me the flyer for the Big Sur workshop then I should go and stay relevant and in her mind. If I wait a year she might not remember me at all. But if I keep putting myself out there and show that I'm a hard worker than maybe over time I can work my way in. 

That's not a bad idea. 

But just in case, I decided to freshen up my creative writing skills by signing up for an online workshop. 

SAY WHAT!?

Yep, I did. I am enrolled in Gotham Writer's Workshop for Children's Book Writing.

When is the last time you took a creative writing class? I took one back in 1998. That's a little while ago. 

When  I was in theater arts at The American Academy of Dramatic Arts West we were told that we should be taking classes regularly throughout our career to keep our skills honed and fresh. I figure, writers are part of the arts and entertainment field so the rules, I think, apply across the board. 

The reason I have pulled myself out of my cave of business to post about this is because I found a deal for the Gotham Writing Workshop that is 53% less than what I paid to get into the class. I figured I should let the writing world know about it. 

Check it out here: Gotham Writing Workshop - Creative Writing Online Class

No. I don't get anything for passing the info on. I just like my class. That's all.

What do I like about it the most?

This might be bad, I don't know, I like that I get to compare my first drafts and writing skills to 12 or 13 other students and we all give each other feedback which is valuable. But then there are the assignments, the prompts, and for those the teacher is the only one who see those and gives valuable feedback.

Some of the classes are run by agents and some are run by published authors. 

The workshop also has a newsletter that is filled with helpful info and contests.

Check it out if you can. 

Write on Writers!!!! Soon, I will be around the blogs to give everyone comment love. I don't get around to blogs very much but I get a lot of your blog posts in my email and I enjoy reading them. We just need to figure out how we can comment straight from our email and then I will be able to show how on top of reading posts I really am.

Conference Recap

Happy 40th Anniverary SCBWI. I'm happy I got to be there to celebrate with you.

Whew! I got back from SCBWI Los Angeles on Monday night and I'm still trying to process everything.

I had never been to a conference before. What a blast! Seriously, I can't imagine why I was so nervous to go in the first place. It was like being in college all over again; meeting new friends, going out for the socials, sucking up to the teachers, haha! Okay I didn't have the balls to do that last one, but I thought about it. As a matter of fact, I was the dummy who didn't realize she was talking about cheese with Kelly Sonnack an agent at Andrea Brown.

There's more to that story though. I signed up for a consultation and all morning they had been telling everyone that we may or may not get to meet with an agent or editor, it could be an author giving us our critiques. I didn't mind. I just wanted to chitchat with someone about my first chapter and ask some questions. So, I went into the meeting, on the first day of the conference, with an open mind and lowered expectations. And yes, I really did talk about cheese and then moved onto a conversation about mud baths at the local hot springs near my house. And when we were done chatting she gave me some great feedback and then I left. It wasn't until later that one of my new friends told me who Kelly Sonnack is. Doh!

That's not the only stupid thing I did, or that happened to me. I learned that recently published authors are quite nervous people when it comes to the day of their book signing. I picked up a book and read the inside flap which had terms like, The Beast and The Beauty. But it was crowed and chaotic around me and I couldn't focus properly. So I asked the lady, "Is this a paranormal story?"

DON'T EVER, EVER DO THAT.

Her response was, "No. But I can write 'vampire' next to my signature if that would make you happy."

I back peddled and stammered trying to explain that I was only wondering if she took a contemporary or paranormal approach to her "ugly duckling" story. And then I walked off and never looked back.

HOWEVER, had this woman been more understanding, I might have bought her book out of sheer guilt. All well.

On the bright side, I met the best people there, one being, Susan:

Me and my conferene besty waiting to get our books signed by Libba Bray.

You might have to go to a conference by yourself. And maybe that's because nobody in your circle of influence gets your ambitions in this field. I'm here to tell you that you NEED to go to a conference by yourself, at least once. And likely there may only be a once because as soon as you get there you will find your conference besty and a bunch of other friends who totally get you and want to keep in touch. At the end of it all it's sad to say goodbye, so you don't. You say, "Hey, do you think you might come back to this conferenc next year?" And they say, "Yes! We should meet up and share a room!"

Did I get a contract out of the conference? No. And I don't believe the woman sitting next to me waiting for her consultation did either regardless of what she says. For, why, if she got a contract last year during the consultations would she be back and eager to find another agent? Okay, I know there are several answers to that. I just have that feeling she was giving random people false expectations (watch out for that).

Going to a conference, in my opinion, is more about learning how the agents and editors are. How they work and what they're like. After you see them talk a few times you get a pretty good feeling about whether or not you would ever query them knowing what you do now. And then you find ones you want to work hard to get to know better.

And if you're lucky, you will get to go home with a new besty and a bunch of notes on how to revise and edit yourself better. For me, I came home with all of that and two critiques from an editor and an agent who had conflicting opinions on the internal monologue in my story. One stressed importance for internal monologue and didn't mark mine for that while the other one marked the crap out of it and showed a better place to start. I could see how both opinions work well. Now I need to figure out what changes to make and what to do with that internal monologue. Hmmmmm.

I'm off to figure out my stuff.

P.S. Definitely always be prepared to give your pitch. And watch out for the random people who want to hear it that AREN'T agents or editors and find it necessary to critique you or say things like, "Yeah, yeah, I know you wrote a story and it's about a girl. Start over."

And that will be interjected right after you say, "DODGING JORDAN is a story about a sixteen-year-old girl named Addie--"

Best advice for that is to finish what you were saying and then say, "Now it's your turn." Have fun!

HOPE YOU ARE ALL WELL AND THAT I GET TO RUN INTO YOU AT A CONFERENCE SOME DAY!!!!

Tall Tales



Me and the giant sunflower in my garden.

No lie, I thought the two-for-one dollar grow-it-yourself seeds at Home Depot wouldn't outgrow my garden. Especially because my 5-year-old son was in charge of starting it and then transferring it into our vegetable garden. Honestly, it was a craft; a project for the kids to do while my husband and I transferred our summer plants into the big garden from the starter kit. Now look at the darn thing. That sunflower is at least 10 feet tall. Ridiculous. Absoultely ridiculous.

Hmmm.

Anyway, summer has gone on a little too long. I'm ready for the kids to go back to school. I'm pretty sure it's more my fault than theirs that I'm this fried. See, every summer I work from a self-made calendar of activities and use it to build routine into chaos. This summer I built chaos into chaos and got lots of chaos. Brilliant, Patty.

So far this summer we have:

• Kept our morning study routine of 20 minutes reading, 20 minutes math, 20 minutes bridge to the next grade worksheets.
• Kids kept up with their penpals (Excellent handwriting practice. Plus, they should know how to send letters via mail not just email. Worked out great!)
• Made slime
• Went to a movie
• Built and raced robots with two other families
• Big 4th of July party at my house
• Went to Hawaii for 10 days
• Went camping
• Went to the beach-twice
• Had a pizza party and experimented with dry active yeast
• Completed the Barnes & Noble Reading Challenge for the kids
• Went to the Griffith Observatory in Los Angeles
• Had a balloon party with 6 booths
• Went to the library (albeit, we only renewed our card for e-reading on our ipad)
• Went to the park a couple times (walked once and then got smart and drove the second time)
• Made a time capsule for the yard
• Made ice cream in Zip Loc bags
• There were sleepovers and back yard movies
• Went to see "The Beatles" play with the kids and neighbors
• Did enough swimming (yep, there can be enough of that)
• Oh, celebrated 7-11's birthday, got free Slurpees and cheap food

And that doesn't complete summer nor does it include what I've done for myself:

• Husband finally made good on that gift certificate for Glen Ivy Hot Springs he gave me
• Read six books: WITHER by Lauren DeStefano, BLOOD MAGIC by Tessa Gratton, REVOLUTION by Jennifer Donnelly, THE FOREST OF HANDS AND TEETH by Carrie Ryan, TEXAS GOTHIC by Rosemary Clement-Moore, WE WERE HERE by Matt de la Pena
• Prepared for the upcoming SCBWI conference in Los Angeles
• Started a new journal
• Started a new idea for the upcoming NaNoWriMo
• Worked with a lovely Crit Group on a completed story
• Added to a WIP
• Went out with the ladies
• Handed out grapes, apricots and vegetables to neighbors
• Went on a wine tour with neighbors
• Planned hubby's 40th bday party
• Planned daughter's 9th bday party
• Planned son and niece's 6th combine bday party

NONE of that includes the refereeing I had to do for the bickering, yelling, fighting, hitting, and teasing that goes on between 3 children.

NONE of that included 4 days per week of extracuricular activities (Tae Kwon Do, Piano,Voice and upcoming Reading Program)

Mainly because that's the yeah, yeah, yeah stuff. Like, yep, kids need a lot of attention during summer.

However, I wasn't AT ALL prepared for the most ridiculous of all kinds of ridiculous arguments I've ever had with my 9-year-old daughter (This too is no lie. Not at all a tall tale): My daughter's friend is apparently going to be homeschooled this year. (I have no opinion on that) I let my daughter spend the day bowling and hanging out at said girlfriend's house. Daughter came home and BEGGED me to homeschool her.

I'm thinking: What the?
I say: "No. Believe me, you don't want to be homeschooled."
Daughter says: "Yes, I do. [Said friend] is."
I say: "So?"
D says: "Why can't I?"
I say: "Sorry. It isn't going to happen. You can't even sit and do your homework for 20 minutes without complaining. You don't qualify for being homeschooled. Plus, it's not like you would get to hang out with your friend who will be schooled IN HER OWN HOME!!!!!"
D says: "I'm going to HATE fourth grade! My life SUCKS!!!!"

I'm left thinking: Sucks? That's a new one. (At this point I can't focus on her word choice. I'm too busy wondering a lot of other things.) What in the hell kind of things did her friend's mom say to make homeschooling sound THAT appealing? And what kind of kid thinks their life SUCKS because they aren't going to be pulled away from all their friends to be stuck at home with me all day everyday? This is a joke, right? Anyone? Anyone? Damn, I'm by myself and NOBODY is going to believe this conversation.

AHHHHH! I have to get out of summer. Right now!

The Effects of a Good Blonde Joke

Before I trudge on with ultimate blondness I want to thank the bloggers who came looking for me while I've been away. Mostly summer caught up with me and spending time with my mom while she's been sick. But now I'm back! (and hopefully better than ever, hahaha!)

I'm a blonde, yep, with an 'e'. You see blonde/blond is a French word where the ending letter determines the sex of the person you're describing. So, I'm a blonde with an 'e'. I'm always surprised at how many books use 'blond' to describe girls. I guess the rule doesn't matter in America and I don't have much of an opinion on that.

So, being a blonde, I hate writing MC's as blondes.

Why?

Because blondes are either stupid, slutty, cheerleaders, prissy, the popular ones, or the evil ones. You might be thinking I'm reaching now. There are plenty of good books where the MC is blonde and she isn't any of those things and none of her friends think that. Such as the Evermore Immortals series by Alyson Noel (love those books).

But seriously, I rarely see book covers with blondes who aren't any of the things I've described. When a blonde is featured on a YA cover the title usually includes Pretty or Queen.

I'm thinking this has to do with the effects of a good blonde joke. I've been around for awhile and have heard some really good blonde jokes. My favorite being:

Q. What do you call a dead blonde in a closet?

A. Last year's hide-and-go-seek winner.

See, what I mean? That's a pretty good one. With jokes like that, how can I possibly make my MC a pretty blonde who happens to be smart and witty with a good sense of humor and an uncanny knack to blow off the stupid boys effectively? I could. But would you trust that she would be this way if you saw her pretty little face on the cover of the book?

Let's face it. Marketing a blonde MC that doesn't fit into her cliche would be more difficult than a brunette.

What percentage of YA girl MC's do you think are brunette? And blonde?

Do you jump at buying up books where a blonde-haired girl is pasted on the cover?

I tried to jump out of my blonde cliche by getting tattoos and body piercings when I was young. And even still, I added two more tattoos in my thirties. I wanted people to take me more seriously and not as a dim-witted, bubbly, cheerleader-esque, goody-goody. For the most part it worked; people realize I have more depth than my appearance might otherwise suggest.

The only bummer about that is. . .I never get to hear the good blonde jokes anymore.

Conference Advice

No, no, no. I'm not going to OFFER any conference advice, I'm LOOKING for some.

I am happy to say that I get to go to the SCBWI Los Angeles Conference in August. Is anyone else going? I would LOVE to meet up.

Are you debating whether or not you should go? YOU SHOULD! If you are AT ALL on the fence about this conference I can tell you that even without conference experience this is going to be AWESOME!

Are you thinking: It's Los Angeles, that's not a safe place, it's dirty and far away?

You're not entirely wrong about all of that. However, Los Angeles is HUGE and wraps itself around cities such as Hollywood, West Hollywood, Beverly Hills, etc. Traffic alone could put you hours away from the bad areas. Haha! Out here we don't judge distance in miles,only in time. It could be a mile away but more importanlty, how long will in take me to get there?

I've been living in California for 14 years and spent nearly 3 years living in Hollywood and West Hollywood and can tell you for certain that the Hyatt Regency Century Plaza is in a beautiful area off of Avenue of the Stars. Nothing at all to be afraid of.

Now, enough of putting you at ease with this particular conference, I need you to put me at ease. I've never been to a conference. Yep, I a newbie--newb, if you will.

Any advice? Funny stories? Do's? Don'ts? I wouldn'ts? You should's? If you can's? If you haven'ts?

I've already booked my hotel room but have to be honest when I say, I wish I had a roommate to share the cost with. If you are seeking a roommate for those days, let me know. If you are going to be there, drop me a line. I WANT TO MEET YOU!

Vegas was. . .AWESOME!

Spring Break is over, my kids are back at school and I've come back from Vegas with stories and pictures. Now, I've been hesitant to come back right in the middle of the A to Z blogfest but I think it will be okay.

To preface the pictures, my sister and I took my mom to Vegas to cross that off her bucket-list. I must say, for a woman who is suffering terminal pancreatic cancer and had been given 3 to 6 months to live back in January, she sure lived it up in Vegas:

My Mom at the Minus 5 degrees Ice Bar at Monte Carlo in Vegas

I tell ya, when you ask your mom to sit with your drink for a minute so you and your sister can get shots from the bar you DON'T expect to find her dancing in a corner with a penguin. That's the kind of stuff you read about in fiction or see in Vegas. If you can't find any interesting characters in Vegas then you know who you are: The character in Vegas.

Left to right: Me, my mom, and my sister.

I'm happy to say that my sister and I were able to convince a 23-year-old that we were around his age. Shhh! Who cares how many shots he had before that?  I loved this bar. It's not one you hang out in for too long but the fact that EVERYTHING is made out of ice made this a memorable place. I would definitely go back.

Unwritten rules need not apply. You know how what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas? I'm assuming that statement doesn't apply to souvenirs.

My new tattoo.

My sister's husband's cousin-in-law after he tattooed me in Vegas! Great guy!

The tat is the Eye of Horus. For those of you who don't know, this Egyptian symbol wards off the evil eye, brings spiritual power, wisdom, prosperity and good luck. This is actually my fifth tattoo. I have an atom that represents me and my children on my left wrist and because the Eye of Horus represents religion versus spirituality to me, I enjoy being able to say the tattoos on my wrists represent how religion and science go hand in hand.

Oh yeah, I went there to work on character building. I'm happy to say I did that as well. We not only had time to do some people watching we managed to get three shows in as well. We saw Terry Fator, the ventriloquist from America's Got Talent, Viva Elvis Cirque du Soleil and David Copperfield. During David Copperfield my mom and sister both participated in the finale which was a vanishing trick. That was pretty cool. Good times had by all.

There she is: My sister had just returned from being vanished on stage.

David Copperfield was an interesting character. I kept thinking about how bored he must be having to perform the same illusions for 30 years. This might not have occurred to me if he hadn't seemed so blah. I'm eager to go back and see Chris Angel's Mindfreak show. It will be interesting to compare the two.

MAGICIANS AND CLOWNS ARE SCARY, SAD CHARACTERS, ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY LIVE AND PERFORM IN VEGAS. That's just for the record.

HOPE YOU ALL HAD A GREAT SPRING BREAK AND ARE OUT THERE WRITING AND QUERYING. (I've been querying like a mad woman. I'll let you know if anything interesting comes up.)

Spring Break

I've been fighting off the temptation to relax during spring break but it has finally won me over. After a little rest I'll be as good as new and look forward to seeing all the Crusaders around the blogosphere soon.

ANYONE DOING ANYTHING FUN FOR SPRING BREAK?

I'm excited to say I get to spend four days in Las Vegas seeing shows and gambling. Excellent time for watching people and building new characters. If only I could write it all off as a business trip it would be even better. Haha!

WRITE ON WRITER'S! I'LL BE BACK SOON TO CATCH UP.

On a side note: I would like to commend Rachael Harrie at Rach Writes and everyone else at Write Hope for the efforts they are making to collect funds for the relief effort in Japan. What a sad time for the world to watch this meltdown. My heart goes out to all of the people of Japan.