Friday, January 14, 2011

Finding Good in Bad

Oddly, this post comes right after my Life IS Good, Isn't It, post. (God's a crafty guy, filled with all kinds of irony)

At the end of last week I found out my mom is suffering from Stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer. Needless to say, this is CRAP NEWS. There is NOTHING at all good about this news no matter how we look at it.

My family is no stranger to cancer. I've seen my dad go into remission with his throat cancer, and I've watched other members of my family die from this heinous disease.

If I may, I would like to add to my New Year's Resolutions by finding the good in the bad. I don't just mean with my mom's prognosis, I mean in every aspect of my life. I have no choice. I'm about to get a lot of training on the subject.

Let's take an example from my mom's awful news:

THE BAD (an incomplete list)
  • Pancreatic cancer is incurable. She will die from this disease at some point.
  • Stage 4 untreated = 3-6 months of life.
  • She's only 66.
  • She's my mom, I don't want my mom to die.
  • Chemotherapy
  • and on, and on, and on. . .
THE GOOD (A list to add to)
  • Stage 4 with treatment = 3 months up to 2 years
  • She's a healthy 66-year-old presenting with only mid-section pain; hope increases for treatment
  • The rotten, no good, horrible, Chemotherapy is a light dose (nausea and hairloss are unlikely)
  • Mom is up and at it, willing to fight.
  • I get to live with her for one week per month in Utah during treatments
  • My mom isn't being taken from me suddenly
  • We get to slow down and take time for a bittersweet ending.
  • Who knows? Two years might be a very real possibility.
I encourge all of you to find the good in the bad during your writing and query process; your journey.

LET'S SAY YOU GET A REJECTION ON YOUR QUERY TODAY, OR YOU DIDN'T WIN A CONTEST, WAS OVERLOOKED MORE THAN ONCE SOMEWHERE ALONG THE WAY. . .FIND THE GOOD IN THAT! Or, just appease me, I like that too.

WRITE ON WRITERS! FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT!

EFF GLOBAL WARMING!
FIGHT DISEASE!

16 comments:

  1. I'm sorry, Patricia. This is sad news and I wish there were more I could do, but say I'm sorry and say thank you for sharing your pain.

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  2. Very well said, sis! Everyone can stand to find the good in the bad...it can't hurt, right?

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  3. The Good: Your mom has a loving, caring daughter to help her through this. I see so many people who have to go through this kind of thing alone.

    I wish there was more I could say besides "I'm sorry". Just keep fighting, that's all you can do.

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  4. Excellent point, Dan. In a world where many goes through these things alone, it's nice that she has a caring daughter to help her through.

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  5. Patricia I am so sorry about your mother. My thoughts are with you!

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  6. Wow, Patricia. That is some terrible news. I'm glad you can find some good in it, and it sounds like you have a wonderful relationship with your mom. Good luck to you, your mom and your family. HUGS!

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  7. Thank you so much for your kind posts. The blogging community is amazing.

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  8. I'm very proud of you.... Well said.

    You do your mom proud to have raised such a caring and sweet daughter.

    Michael

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  9. Awe. I'm so sorry Patricia but you are brilliantly strong and wonderful to see the good. Will be praying for you and yours!

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  10. Patricia, I am so sorry!
    Spend time with you mom. Have her tell you stories and write them down. Savor the moments together.
    Some things in life are worth far more than others.

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  11. I'm so glad I came by today Patricia. I am so sorry to hear about your mum's diagnosis. You have looked for the good in this and that's always a positive thing to do. Treasure those moments. I lost my mum suddenly as did my husband and it is so hard not to say goodbye.

    I wanted to assure you that I will be posting the Life is Good award, but not just at the mo' with the floods/cleanup going on here at my front door. I'll wait a week or so!

    Also I give you a special invitation to pop by and attend my Publication Party (it is now the third post down.) I have authors each week telling us their journey to publication. It's been a great response. Come on and visit if you have time. Prizes drawn tomorrow for the first week - ebook/critique.

    Denise :)

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  12. I'm so sorry to hear this. My grandfather was diagnosed with this @14 years ago. He was told he had six months and he lived fairly comfortably for another ten years. You just never know. Good luck. I'm praying you both getwhat you need.

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  13. I find so much hope here in the Writer's Blogging Community. That's what we do, right? We hope. We hope a lot. That's why I knew I needed to reach out to you for support. I'm so glad I did.

    Thank you everyone for your comments. Thank you especially to Melissa for reaching out and suggesting the Gerson Therapy. Thank you Sylvia for such a hope filled comment. I can't wait to pass this news onto my mom. Get her thinking forward.

    Thanks everyone!

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  14. Your strong message has reached a listening heart. So sorry for the diagnosis, but with you at your mom's side, the road ahead is full of promise and love. Best wishes to both of you.

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  15. It can't be east to share this so I can imagine your strength. All the best to you!

    Wanted to check the SO blogfest, loved this instead.

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  16. Hi Patricia,

    I am so very sorry to hear about your Mom. My Dad is in remission from colon cancer. He went to the doctor yesterday and they removed some more polyps. I'm sure he is scared, but like you, I try to think positive and find the good in the bad news that tends to plague us more often then we would like.

    Hugs and Blessings to you and your family during this difficult time!

    Tara (Bandhura)
    The Digital Looking Glass

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